This post might be a little introspective.
I realized recently that my life is really falling into place. Relationship, parental, personal wise. Its just going well. Its an overwhelming feeling knowing that I don't have drama looming over me all the time. I don't have a stressful relationship with Jared. Yes we have our moments, our annoyances, but we have a very good relationship. No worry of cheating, no money problems, no inattentiveness, no absent father syndrome. He loves our children with everything he has and has grown so much as a man and father. I see so many couples our age and it makes me sad. Men(if you can call them that) not yet accepting that they have made another human being that needs more than food and clothing. Seeing men who take for granted the little person that adores them whole heatedly. Taking milestones so nonchalantly when they should be cherished and celebrated.
Seeing women so warped up in themselves and their frivolous wants that they demean their S.O. Being so selfish to make a one sided relationship that lacks respect for one another. To not realize that the child that came out of them is THEIR responsibility now. That that person needs to be put before partying and friends. Life changes with children and a husband.
It also hurts to see the wife who has given up everything of herself. For some women, being a stay at home mom or wife is their ultimate. There are those though that want other things. Like a job, or to obtain higher education or to have a hobby.
It huts because Ive been there and still kind of am. Ive not taken anytime for my wants. That is changing though. Ive realized that me being happy is going to make me a better mom and wife. I cant sit her any longer and dwell on what I have not done, I just have to do it.
That is why going to school is so important to me. Which is all in motion.
Even though we have been threw a lot, we are very blessed. Our relationship was unconventional, fast and young. I know we had many doubters in the beginning but we have proven them wrong. Not for them but for us.
We were only together about 2wks when Jared told me he loved me.
Only together 3 months when he joined the army
4 months when he left for basic
We were only together for 9months when he proposed to me.
We were only together 11 months before we got pregnant
Together 18months when I graduated HS
Together 19 months when we got married.
23 months when our first son was born.
23 months when he first deployed.
Then he was gone for 15 long months.
Together 38 months when we survived our first deployment.
38months of being together before we actually live with each other!
43 months together when we made our first cross country move from TN to WA.
44 months when we got pregnant with our second son.
51 months when our first year FULL year of living together had concluded, with him deploying again.
53 months when our second son came into this world not getting the chance to be greeted by his on daddy.
61 months when he again came home and for the first time met his second son.
68 months is where we sit now.
68 months.
That we have pushed threw so much stuff. Dealt with so many emotions, stemming from deployment, from being alone, from just trying to find our normal. To make the adjustments that most couples get to make around the 24month mark. To adapt(for him) to being a father when you haven't been able to for 15 months with the first and 7 months with the second.
To release some control and figure out how to live with your husband as an equal, not the head of the house.
While we have had our ups and down with in these last 68 months it has done nothing but make us stronger. Our commitment to each other never wavered. Our commitment to make our relationship better grew stronger. Our commitment to make our selves better pushed threw.
I can not tell you where we will be in the many months to come, there should be some crazy ones. The month I start school and have to send my babies to daycare will be a hard one. The month I graduate will be a prideful one.
The month(s) Jared gets out of the army will be stressful/exciting/unknown.
The month(s) we move back home will be challenging.
But I am, at least, calmed by the fact that I know my husband and I can make it threw.
I realized recently that my life is really falling into place. Relationship, parental, personal wise. Its just going well. Its an overwhelming feeling knowing that I don't have drama looming over me all the time. I don't have a stressful relationship with Jared. Yes we have our moments, our annoyances, but we have a very good relationship. No worry of cheating, no money problems, no inattentiveness, no absent father syndrome. He loves our children with everything he has and has grown so much as a man and father. I see so many couples our age and it makes me sad. Men(if you can call them that) not yet accepting that they have made another human being that needs more than food and clothing. Seeing men who take for granted the little person that adores them whole heatedly. Taking milestones so nonchalantly when they should be cherished and celebrated.
Seeing women so warped up in themselves and their frivolous wants that they demean their S.O. Being so selfish to make a one sided relationship that lacks respect for one another. To not realize that the child that came out of them is THEIR responsibility now. That that person needs to be put before partying and friends. Life changes with children and a husband.
It also hurts to see the wife who has given up everything of herself. For some women, being a stay at home mom or wife is their ultimate. There are those though that want other things. Like a job, or to obtain higher education or to have a hobby.
It huts because Ive been there and still kind of am. Ive not taken anytime for my wants. That is changing though. Ive realized that me being happy is going to make me a better mom and wife. I cant sit her any longer and dwell on what I have not done, I just have to do it.
That is why going to school is so important to me. Which is all in motion.
Even though we have been threw a lot, we are very blessed. Our relationship was unconventional, fast and young. I know we had many doubters in the beginning but we have proven them wrong. Not for them but for us.
We were only together about 2wks when Jared told me he loved me.
Only together 3 months when he joined the army
4 months when he left for basic
We were only together for 9months when he proposed to me.
We were only together 11 months before we got pregnant
Together 18months when I graduated HS
Together 19 months when we got married.
23 months when our first son was born.
23 months when he first deployed.
Then he was gone for 15 long months.
Together 38 months when we survived our first deployment.
38months of being together before we actually live with each other!
43 months together when we made our first cross country move from TN to WA.
44 months when we got pregnant with our second son.
51 months when our first year FULL year of living together had concluded, with him deploying again.
53 months when our second son came into this world not getting the chance to be greeted by his on daddy.
61 months when he again came home and for the first time met his second son.
68 months is where we sit now.
68 months.
That we have pushed threw so much stuff. Dealt with so many emotions, stemming from deployment, from being alone, from just trying to find our normal. To make the adjustments that most couples get to make around the 24month mark. To adapt(for him) to being a father when you haven't been able to for 15 months with the first and 7 months with the second.
To release some control and figure out how to live with your husband as an equal, not the head of the house.
While we have had our ups and down with in these last 68 months it has done nothing but make us stronger. Our commitment to each other never wavered. Our commitment to make our relationship better grew stronger. Our commitment to make our selves better pushed threw.
I can not tell you where we will be in the many months to come, there should be some crazy ones. The month I start school and have to send my babies to daycare will be a hard one. The month I graduate will be a prideful one.
The month(s) Jared gets out of the army will be stressful/exciting/unknown.
The month(s) we move back home will be challenging.
But I am, at least, calmed by the fact that I know my husband and I can make it threw.
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