My 72hr bag...well so far!

With our upcoming move I am not going to start every ones bags just yet. I have "started" mine, which will be more of a communal bag and pretty basic. Once we get settled and Jared and I both have jobs and know whats going on with our lives, I'll pick back up on it and get every ones started.

For right now though this is what I have.

This summer Meghan and I got an itch to go hiking, but between both of us working crazy hours we only made it out once, and that was just to the state park, which is just hills lol!

It did give me a chance to try out my new pack and some cool flash light things I found.

A lot of what can be found in 72hr kits can also be hiking/camping materials. So when I notice our Walmart was clearing out the "camping" stuff I stalked it like crazy. At the time I was not really thinking 72hr bag so there were things I should have gotten as they were at awesome clearance prices. Things like thick ponchos, weatherized undershirts and pants, drybags, hatchets, all kinds of stuff!

Some things I did get during the clearance though were-

My backpack

Camp Soap(small sheets)

Water purification Tabs

Generic first aide kit

Water proof matches

These were all awesome finds!

With this I have added other stuff-

Life Gear-Glow Stick flash light

Safty wrap(silvery blanket)

Tarp

Match container

Instant Ice pack

Cleaning tabs for my Hydration Bladder

Quick Clot Combat Gauze

1 Mountain Home Ice Cream MRE

Stinger waffles

550 Cord

Gerber

So let me elaborate a little and tell you why I have each of these things.

 Life Gear Glow Stick- Saw these and was intrigued at the multi purposefulness. I have a red and a pink. The whistle is kind of awkward to use but works well enough. I love the flashing or solid of the color part. The light its self is not all that bright. I used it at night and was just "eh" about it. I think they would be a good option for younger kids bags though.

Safty wrap- The one I have is similar to the link. It was in a first aide kit that was down to its bare bones so it went into the bag when I bought a new FA kit. We used on during our blizzard incident and it was pretty helpful!

Instant Ice Pack-Again part of the first aide kit. Just one of the ones you squeeze and it gets cold.

Cleaning tabs for Hydration Bladder- This is the brand I have although Im sure there are others out there. When you first get the bladder it will make your water taste like plastic. I recommend these for 2 reasons. 1 for cleaning so you not tasting plastic and 2 for bacteria or mold growth. My husband is deathly allergic to mold so its something I have to think about.

Quick Clot Combat Gauze- So this is kind of an odd addition. The only reason I have it is because it was Jareds. Ever soldier has to have it during deployments.

This stuff is pretty awesome though, should someone be injured and is hemorrhagic you put this on the  wound and it clots it. Jared says it burns the area around the skin though and gets really hot. When the medics take it off it will take some of the meat around wound. 

The site for the link just says $48, not for how much of it you get though, so Im not really sure how practical it is to buy and from that site at least, you have to have a military id.

Mountian home Ice Cream Sandwich and Stinger Waffles-I'll explain another time.

550 cord/para cord- This stuff is SUPER cheap at surplus stores. Mine is neon pink. You can make it into a super cool bracelet. Its pretty handy in an emergency situation. We also have like 30ft of it that Jared, again, somehow acquired. 

Gerber Tool/ Leather mans- Not sure which one Jared has because his was issued to him. My dad ALWAYS had one of these when I was growing up and used it for everything.  Again you can find them at Army/Navy supply stores or heck if you live near a military base there is a site called BooKoo that many military people use and they are always selling items.

Coleman Camp Soap Sheets- These were one of my clearance finds and that's the main reason I bought them. I honestly am not worried about hygiene during a disaster. My life is more important than how I smell BUT these are TINY so I figured why not!

Water Purification Tabs- I cant seem to find the exact ones I have but this is the jist of it. Mine is a 2 step process though. These bottles are smaller than fingernail polish so I think are a must in your 72hr bags. Yes you should have water in your bag but should you come across a body of water why not use that before using up what you have??

So as you can tell I do not have everything I listed in detail. Im thinking of doing my very first video for you all!! That will make it a little easier for you all to see what Im talking about!

Emergency NOM NOM NOMs

Food and water are going to be a top concern in instances of emergencies. Its one of those times that, if you are forced to leave your home, you may not know where or when your next meal is going to come from. Will there be a water source? Is that water source clean?

There are a few different ways you can stock your 72hr bags with food. 

You can pick basic foods normally found at your grocery store that will stay good for a while such as 

-granola bars

-nut mixes

-canned goods

-Microwave meals(some can be made with hot water)

You can go with foods found in outdoor/camping stores like the Mountain House line, which are pretty fancy MREs. They are pretty expensive though, you could probably try to find some coupons or buy a few when they are on sale.

There are also the traditional Military MREs. You can find these online and Im fairly sure at Army/Navy supply stores. These can be expensive too but I would honestly choose them over a commercial brand like Mountian House just because I know more about them. I would check the supply stores first if there is one near you, I would think you would have a good chance of finding MREs cheaper. It may not be a whole kit like they sell on line though. 

I've been lucky enough to have tried some MRE meals with Jared being in the Army. 

Spaghetti is not to bad. If you find one with the brownie stuff, EAT it lol! Most are edible enough if your hungry enough. 

One thing Jared did tell me though is that if you are not quite used to it, it COULD block you up a little....know what I mean??

He thinks its the "bread" since its really dense(it dries your mouth out pretty well) so I would just nibble on it, don't discount it all together though since its a good source of carbs!

Another component of the MRE(what ever type) is if you want your food hot. Now for me, food is food. Hot or cold, as long as I have food I will be fine. There are options though. What I have experience with are the "Flameless Heaters" that came with Jareds MREs. They are simple to use and get REALLY hot. 

What ever kind you get they can be used for other things too(they are a one time use thing though) like keeping your body warm in a pinch. 

They can be slightly spendy though so if it came down to it I would be buying extra MREs instead of the heater.

Then we come to water. Im finding out its sold in a few forms.

-Pouches

-(juice)Boxes

-Cans

All of these options, I feel, have a place and purpose. 

-Pouches- in our 72hr bags/kits. They make the most sense there for their size and weight.

-(juice) Boxes- In the car is where I would put these. They are perfect for kids and could be stored easily in car type compartments. 

-Cans- Either in your house or in a pre determined shelter you already have set. My in laws have property in the mountains that Jared and I have talked about as a place to go. Storing cans up there would be perfect, as long as we make sure to leave a can opener too!!\

Another water option is a back pack with a bladder. This is your run of the mill bladder. You can get backpacks with them or ones without(but still have a spot for them. Most packs that are made for them have a hole in by the shoulder area of the strap allowing for the hose to come out and then a loop on the lower part of the shoulder strap to secure the hose. 

Keep in mind though that a fully filled bladder can get kind of heavy. I filled mine at a festival for the first time and it was pretty uncomfortable to me. That could be the backpack though or my  bad back!

Along with this I want to mention having some sort of water purification. There are tools that you can buy to take with you that will purify like THIS but they are expensive and can be bulky. I would invest in one for maybe a bigger pack or shelter(like the land I spoke of), but for a 72hr kit I would say to go with water purifying tabs, smaller for your pack but they do take a little more "thinking" in making sure your doing the steps right!

I think thats all I can think of for right now for food stuff.

Really just do your research, find good prices, look around. You cant really go "wrong".

Oh SANDY!

Sandy has me thinking about the likelihood of disaster on this side of the US.

Where I live both now, and my hometown, have pretty mild and distinct seasons. Yes it gets windy, sometimes there is flooding(because its the PNW and it rains!) but in general I dont have to worry about hurricanes or tornadoes! 

Although I DO worry. With the way weather is changing and our climate acting out of the ordinary, it would be logical to think that this is NOT always the way our weather will occur. I mean historically there is proof of that.

Its been a long summer, winter is coming.

(hopefully someone gets that and will actually comment..)

Then there is the (what I feel) very real thread of earthquakes for this area. I think its long over due.

Heard of the Pacific Ring of Fire???

Well HI Im on it!!!!!

There was just an earthquake in the Alaska/Canada area and are frequently small ones in California. So Im just waiting for the big one! Luckily I think in our home town we would be far enough inland that we would be o.k.

Just knowing that are ways to prepare myself and my family for theses situations makes me feel a little safer. I wish everyone would know a little more so that these situations could be a little easier for them too!

The situation that gets you thinking.

I honestly no one has one of these situations, that you all prepare to some degree BEFORE you have to be shocked into it.
I think I have made mention of my own experience in another post but can not seem to find it. So for those who are new I'll recant it.

I dont remember the exact day but it was sometime during the end of April. We were getting ready to move from Ft. Campbell, KY to Ft. Lewis, WA. It was Jared, Guy, Meghan, Rylan and Me. In the Jetta and a moving truck.
Not knowing much about travel really and how to map out a good route, we just went with what the GPS said. Meghan and I had take the same route when driving over from WA the first time and we felt fine with it. We even planned to stop and see some interesting stuff along the way!
Well we failed to take weather in to account.
Everything was going fine and we had made it to Rapid City, SD to stop for the night, planning to make the slightly out of the way trip to Mt. Rushmore in the morning.
I-90 got closed and we ended up taking SR 212, after getting the ok from a police department in Bell Fourche, SD.
Well....We got stuck out there. In the middle of no where, no towns and just a little cell service.
The Jetta was the first to get stuck, Jared and Guy had Rylan with them. They drifted of into the side of the road and couldnt get the car out.
Meghan and I turned the moving truck around to go back to them. We were going to all attempt to squeeze into the moving truck to try and get back to the town. Some guys in nice big trucks stopped and said they had room for 1 person. Jared wasn't sending me or Meghan with strange men and he wasn't leaving us out there by ourselves. So we sent Guy!
We managed to fit in the moving truck, then realized it was NOT going anywhere either!!
We rounded up everything and trudged back to the car. In a BLIZZARD!!
We made phone calls to the town but they for some reason had NO idea where we were, even though I told them exactly where we were(found out later I was about a mile off).

Here is where the preparedness comes in.
We got pretty lucky with what we had.
I have this quilt that I have had since I was like 8. It goes everywhere with me and its the only thing I sleep with. Well I insisted that Rylan have it in the Jetta with him before we set out on our trip.
Meghans mom had sent us a few small first aide kits. I had a Tupperware ware container filled with random things for our trip including the kits.
Jared and I always over buy when we stop at gas stations on trips. I buy more water than needed and food for "later". I ALWAYS over pack the diaper bag too.  I had enough diapers and wipes to last 3-4 days and a big container of formula, and a bottle of baby juice(he was 18months).
Jared had bought 2 big packs of these jerky/pepperoni bites.
Being in the Army Jared seems to have random gear of sorts scattered everywhere. There were gloves in the car, plastic magazines(for guns) and a pair of safety glasses. All of which came in handy when he had to dig out the exhaust during the blizzard.
That night got pretty cold but with the blanket and body heat of the 4 of us squished in the back of the Jetta, we made due. We even had one of those silver fire blankets that we put up to try and keep our heat in the back of the car.
At one point during the next day, the driver side window fell down in the door. This window was directly facing the wind. We used the fire blanket and Rylans dinosaurs to fill the whole.
Luckily after almost 24hrs the Sharif from Sundance WY and 2 plow trucks found us and a few other people, and took us back to Bell Fourche.


The point is that, we had no idea how long we were going to be out there. They did not know when the storm was supposed to stop or when they could come get us. While we were lucky in what we had, we could have been way more prepared!
Now with 2 kids an one on the way, I feel its even more important to think about situations like this and plan the best we can.

Im on one of those kicks :)

Just wanted to make a quick note of the whole pregnant thing. Im a little over 9wks now. "Morning" sickness has been off and on but has gotten much better, I have not thrown up in a while and can eat more. One thing I have noticed though is that I get a metallic taste in my mouth that kind of makes me nauseous  Its normal and is just due to hormones. Other than that things are just going along fine!

On to the main post. 

Im not quite sure what piqued my kick this morning or how I even got there, but I've been reading two different "prepper" websites this morning.

If you do not know what prepping means here are some resources for some deeper explanations but I will provide my own view.

I do not endorse, belong to, or specifically support all aspects of the websites listed, as with anything in life I take things with a grain of salt and for my own opinion. You should too.

Prepping to survive-What is prepping?

American Preppers Network

SHTF Blog- "sewage" hits the fan

So those are just a few that I have scavenged threw, all with good info.

Why do people prep?-

There are a few different reasons I've seen. Some do it because its part of the Religion, like the LDS church and their food storage practice. Some do it out of a belief of an imminent government fall out. Some do it out of the need to be prepared for natural disasters.

Whats my take/opinion?-

Both Jared and I have thought a lot about the "what if's" of being able to survive in case of anything. There are so many people today who have no idea how to grow a plant. How to feed themselves if food were rationed or gone all together. Skills that, even 2 generations ago, were normal knowledge points are "lost arts" to some people.

I dont know if the government with fall out, but historically I know that being wholly dependent on someone(in any form) to proved my basic needs.

I live in an area that is pretty mellow as far as natural disasters but things are changing it seems. Areas where things do happen are getting hit with harder storms, earthquakes, hurricanes etc. So why not be prepared for that?

I dont think there are any wrong reasons for "prepping". Its your own opinion, and we all hope that we wont NEED to come to need these things but its reassuring that its there, just in case!

I intend for this to be a running subject here since its is such a vast and somewhat in depth topic. There is no way I could fit it into one readable post and I know I would ramble and loose direction!!

My next post(which may be today) will, I think, give you a better idea of why Im starting this!

OOHHH Thats Why I Felt "Off".

I caught the pregnant.

Yep.

I am a little over 5wks infected.

Now you may understand my last blog post. Oh the hormones raging through me!

I know only a few people read my blog but I just had to announce it on here real quick. Just got back from visiting family though so I will do a better post in a day or two!

Just not quite sure about life right now.

Do you ever get that.....empty feeling? Like you don't know what to think or do. Life is kind of just going by, day after day. Its like that awkward moment when you don't have pockets and you don't know what to do with your hands. 

Its like that but, with my entire being. What am I doing, what should I be doing?

I am not working, I am not going to school. The boys and I have not been doing much because I've felt like total crap these last few weeks. 

I am attempting to get everything ready for Rylans birthday but all I can focus on is all the "hard" stuff. Like driving for 6hrs, not sleeping in my own bed, dealing with people I don't like, driving BACK 6hrs, getting settled in our home again. Its sad that these things are overwhelming me when there is good stuff to look forward to. Like Rylans first big birthday with family since his 1st birthday. Meghan and Jared are taking me to the Used concert for my birthday. Those things just seem to be a side thought to the rest.

I have so much to do but I can't bring myself to actually do any of it.

I need something to get me out of this. What that is, I have no idea.

Its the little things!

Lets just say things have been a little crazy in my life these last few months. 

I have not been in our home for longer than 2wks at a time since we first officially moved up here. Going back and forth between here and the valley is starting to take a tole on me which is why this next visit will be it for a while.

While I dont mind moving every so often, I do like to "settle", get in a groove, make a house feel home. I just don't feel like Ive gotten to do that yet.

On top of that, I have yet to find a job. Ive applied at 3 different clinics but have heard nothing yet. Ive applied EVERY where, most of which I get an email back saying Im not "compatible". Seriously? What about me is not compatible? Anywho, after having worked I now feel restless because Im not doing anything.

Our only saving grace right now is that Jared will continue to get paid until November when his contract is up. He has been putting in applications also. He did just get word from a friend that they are hiring security guards at a casino about half hour away and he should hopefully be starting college soon. If only he could settle on what he wants to do.

I've also been looking into school online but have NO idea what I want to do either. I don't see the point in wasting time and money when I don't know what I want.

All these things lead me to think to much, think to much about things like this make me grumpy. At EVERYONE. I yelled at Jared the other day. I apologized of course, I didnt mean to yell and be so angry sounding.

I get short tempered with the kids. I about had a mental break down when I came out of the bathroom to see Gabe drawing in pen all over the tv.

Really I know that its just because we are all "couped up". The boys are used to going to daycare and running and getting energy out. Im used to going to work and talking about things other than power rangers and poopie butts.

Jared woke up relatively early today. The boys had been in kind of a bad mood because I took netflix away. Neither of them will stay away from the xbox and keep turning it off or opening the disc drive, so I was just done. They could either play outside or play in their room. 

I went and took a shower and cleared my mind, got dressed and brushed my hair. I felt a bit better. Gabe was down for a nap so I laid on the couch with Jared and we both ended up falling asleep. It was so nice and comfy. When we are in bed I can NOT fall asleep cuddled up. Im claustrophobic and it creeps me out to lay face to face and breath the same air, or breath air he has exhaled. Im weird I know, but after 7yrs of having him on again off again in my bed, Im just to used to sleeping by myself.  

We have found though that the couch is the one place we fall asleep together, so when I get those moments I  take great advantage.

After waking up, Jared was getting ready to go to BJJ so I took my chance and told him I was going to go get a coffee. I needed out of the house before I had to tackle dinner by myself. That 10min of silence was golden. All I did was drive to Starbucks and get a pumpkin latte and I was rejuvenated. 

The boys and Jared were outside when I got there so once Jared left we just stayed and played.

Came in for dinner and then I got a cool idea. I had extra glow sticks from the Dollar Store so once it got dark I cracked those babys up and we played Light Sabers until bed time.

After a while these "little things" become big things when they mean the difference between being a total bitch and a calm person.

5yrs old? NO!

August and September are big months for my family, much to my grandparents dismay. Maybe we just all enjoy Christmas and Newyears with our spouses a little to much!

There are a LOT of birthdays in these 2 months. 3 cousins in August and 4 of us in September. Brother Dj turned 22 on the 4th of September, Cousin Dj turns 23 on the 23rd, I turn 24 on the 24th and Rylan turns 5 on the 26th. Oh wait and I have an Aunt whos birthday is on the 4th also!

The big one though is obviously Rylans birthday.

My first born baby boy is turning 5! 

How is this even possible! 

Hes supposed to be this big!

Nope Im going crazy because he is actually this big.

(bonus pic of Gabe :))

He can write his name, recognizes all the letters of the alphabet and has a crazy imagination .

He draws such cool pictures and tells funny stories and jokes.

He loves angry birds, power rangers and shares his Daddys love of plains and helicopters.

Hes sensitive and thoughtful, and curious.

He is forever talking about anything and everything, I call him Chatty Carl.

Im going to recount this all now because I wont be at my computer on his actual birthday.

The situation surround Rylans birth and my pregnancy were a little crazy.

Jared and I had been together for a year and engaged for about 3 months when I found out I was pregnant. He had just come and gone for Christmas leave and was back at Ft. Campbell KY. So he found out over the phone.

I was a senior in HS, we had planned on waiting to get married until after I graduated Culinary school in Portland. 

I cant remember when we found out, before or after I got pregnant, but he was set to deploy in late September. The same day as my due date and first day of culinary school. 

So we decided to get married earlier. No way was he going to a war zone with out us being taken care of, should anything happen.

We married a month after I graduated HS, I was 6.5 months pregnant.

After we got married I planned on going back to Ft. Campbell with him for a few weeks, just a visit. While there we came to the realization that If I did not stay there with him, there was very little chance of him getting to be there for the birth of our son. Between the Army letting him stay behind, not knowing exactly when I would have Rylan and, if we would even have the money to get him home, to much was uncertain.

So we decided that I would stay. That was a VERY hard phone call to my mom, who was very upset(it ended up ok though). I felt terrible but I did what I felt was best, Jared deserved to see his son born before heading to war.

I was 4days past my due date when I started having contractions. I labored at home from one afternoon threw the next day. By 11pm my contractions were perfectly spaced for an hour. I wasnt in to much pain but I didnt want to have my baby in the car, so we went to the hospital. 

When I was FINALLY checked(after an hour of sitting there), I was already at 7cm. 

They got me to my room and set up, they told me if I did not get my epi right then, then I wouldn't be able to get it. So I did lol!
I slept for a while, passed out, threw up and the next morning around 7ish, Rylan graced us with his presence. 
We got to spend the next 13 days with Jared, I left KY about 3 days before he left the states. Leaving and taking our child with me was incredibly hard knowing it would be a long 15months and hoping for R&R to hurry up.
Rylan was such an easy and happy baby. The flight home was good and there were so many helpful people. A woman and her daughter helped me with my bags off my last flight all the way to where my mom was standing. They had asked my story, as did many people that day. A young girl with a tiny baby flying, draws a lot of attention. 
The woman helping actually started crying when she saw my mom and I hug.
I wish I knew what her name was so I could thank her for her kindness.

Here is another picture so I can recollect my thoughts.

He looks like a sweet little elf!

So as we approach his 5th birthday and his new "big kid" status, its crazy to see all the changes in him. 
I wouldn't change a thing about our situation because I have such an amazing little boy to hug and cuddle for as long as he will let me!

Off Hiatus!

Clearly I have been gone for a while.

I blame it on two things.

1-Pure laziness. Yep that's me!

2-Typing on a cell phone(even a nifty iphone) takes a bazillion times longer than typing. I also loose track of what Im saying when posting from the phone.

So now that we've gotten that out of the way. I'll update you all a little!

This will in be no specific order, in fact it will  be a little jumbled!

We are currently living back in Lakewood(by .Ft. Lewis)

Yep. Not in the Valley. The house we were attempting to buy came to a stand still. We were using a VA loan on a foreclosed HUD home. Our house budget is modest at 120K. We are not about to put ourselves over what we feel we can feasibly afford and at that price our mortgage would be no more than $700. The down side. Most homes in our area at that price are foreclosed. If you have ever searched for a home and looked in to foreclosures, you have noticed a not so nice trend. People like to destroy the home before they leave.....

The first home we wanted to buy, the people went so far as to take fixtures, and molding. Rip random chunks of tile out and punch holes in the walls.

Well this house, that was oh SO perfect for us, really didnt need anything major. It was just slightly out dated. Well kept just outdated. Sparkly popcorn ceilings have long been shunned lol.

The only down fall of this house was the back deck. It was just old. It was only about a foot high so no fall risk, but like I said just old. 

Well the VA can be picky. When they come do their inspection, it has to be up to their standards. They will list a $25 dollar fix that I could do in my sleep. 

The thing with HUD or bank owned homes is that they will not fix anything, and they will not let US fix anything. Putting us at a stand still.

Jared and I made the decision to not waste  around $500 on the VA inspection and $400 on the general inspection, to just be put in a dead lock on the house.

We took this as our sign. To not tie ourselves to the valley just yet. All of our stuff was here in Tacoma already so we wanted to try things here first and then go back to the valley if we needed to!

That leads me to the fact that JAREDS HOME!

Yeah I know I'm about 3 months late. I'm loving it though.

Fact 3- I no longer work at the clinic in the valley. I've applied for 3jobs up here but it can be awhile before I hear anything. I kind of have a feeling I was leaving the clinic at a good time. I just hope for some of my co workers/patients that things are going better.

Fact 4- Jared is on terminal leave until Nov 1st when he will officially be off active duty and out of the army!! 

In true army style though, it was an ordeal for him just to get on terminal leave. 

He was initially supposed to be home in April, to give him adequate time for all of his out processing stuff, before his terminal leave date(90 days from his ets date). Well April came and went and he was finally home in June. It got even more messed up from there.

A lot of the things he had to do are classes you have to sign up for. A big one being SRP. They only do things certain days of the week and times. If you cant make it to a class that day, you wait a whole week. 

One of the most stressful aspects is clearing CIF, which is turning in all the gear that he has been issued. Lets just say gear is notorious for growing legs and walking off.

 Then there are the leave forms and orders. 

Jareds unit is still in country so his forms had to be sent to another brigade to be signed off He can not fully clear post until those orders are given back to him, signed. 

Well his orders sat at this other brigade for almost 2 wks because they "lost" them. The whole time Jared gets treated like a child because he cant get anything else done without these orders. Finally someone did enough bitching and he finally got his orders. Even though he went a week and a half into his terminal leave.

He cleared post in 2 days!!

Most of that spent at CIF trying to appease the inspection people, which is another story for another time.

I think thats about it though. We have been going home about every 2 wks for this or that. We just got back yesterday, went home for the weekend because my brother just got back from his West Pac tour and I haven't seen him in about a year. We will be going back in 2wks for mine and Rylans birthdays. Meghan got us tickets to see the USED in Spokane. We have only been waiting 8yrs to see them lol!

After that though we will settle in to normal life here, with not to many trips back home. 

Hopefully jobs come threw for us, and Jared can start school soon!!

I've Found My Zen!

So along the way between, highschooler, wife, mommy, lady with deployed husband, supposed to be adult person, I lost the calm sense I once had. I am a person that needs alone time. Before real life hit, I had that time but didn't really realize that it was an intrgural part of me.
In the last 4yrs since having Rylan and Gabe, I haven't had much of that. Either not having the time, money, or lack of guilt for wanting to do things by myself.
Since moving home it's gotten easier.
I think I have found my zen routine.
There is a little bakery here called Daileys. It's amazing. So calm and clean and the food is amazing!
Last week I had to drop the boys off at day care pretty early but then had some time to kill. So I headed over to Dailys, where i had never eaten before.
I ordered the coffe of the day and steel cut oats with brown sugar, raisins, and strawberrys. It came with a small slice of blueberry loaf and some milk to put in the oats( I drank it though lol).
It was presented so well with garnish, the bowl was not to large bit enough to make me full. The coffe was amazing. And all for $7
Then I realized, "wait, I'm actually, visually enjoying my food before I eat it! When was the last time I did this???"
To long ago is the answer!
So I sat there, slowly eating and enjoying. Taking in all the cars passing by, people coming in and just being calm. I didn't think much more about anything. I just sat there.
Then some more amazing stuff happened. I couldnt wait to go pick up my boys. I know that sounds horrible but I enjoy my time and they enjoy their time at daycare(which is awesome!).
So I went and picked them up and the rest of our day was awesome! I was less stressed and so were they.

This morning I did the same thing. I feel wonderful. The slight bit of guilt for sitting here enjoying food with out them, is still slightly there, then I remember how good I feel, and how this will follow me threw the rest of the day.

I'm getting closer to that calm person I used to be and I like that.

The weight, oh the

Since this has been in my mind a lot I figured I would blog it. Blog it all, I will!

I guess you could say Ive been "dealing " with weight my whole life. I was born tiny, like smaller than average. In the first year of my life though, boy did I pudge up! Obviously I realize that at that age it does not matter(baring baby obesity ), it's just funny how that would be the case the next 23 yrs of my life! At 7-8, I was super skinny, I was super active outside all the time with the neighbor kids from dawn till dusk. Then the dreaded puberty hit. Let's just say that since 13 have had boobs and butt. Oh yeah and the "holland" thighs, thanks mom!

While I was still active with sports and regular life, I was defiantly more filled out than my classmates. It wasn't until my sophomore year of high school, when I hit 160lbs(I'm only 5'2) , that I started to pay attention. Threw sports and mostly eating better I made my way down to about 145lbs. Then with swim team my senior year I made it to 135lbs, my goal weight!! Then...... I got pregnant. Yep, I contracted the preggers. I gave into my insane love of food i.e. pasta and bread, and got up to 170lbs while pregnant with Rylan.

I know, I know " but you were growing a baby". I took it to far and was eating for probably 5 and excercising for 0!!
After I had him I dropped to 135 again but that was due to breast feeding and not eating well. Once I stopped breast feeding and moved to KY....it ALL came back!
When I went for my pregnancy confirmation apt with Gabe, I weighed 168, after having been throwing up for a month already.
At 41 wks and 4 days I was induced, weighing a whopping 190lbs!!!! I was not happy, granted Gabe was almost 10lbs of that!
So seriously, almost instantly after giving birth I was back at 150lbs. That's pretty much where I've been since. I did make it to 145lbs the week jared came home from his last deployment but I think that was more due to stress than actual weight loss.

Now I am actually trying to get my weight down and KEEP it down. No more up and down every year.
I've done pretty good since moving back home, working has helped a lot too.
I was pretty shocked yesterday when I got on the scale after a week of avoiding it.

146.6lbs...... 0_0

No way!

I've lost almost 10lbs in the last month! I haven't even gotten to "really" work out yet! Thi is just from eating better(and actually making sure I eat enough) and being more active! I can't wait to see what happens when I actually work out! And to think I only have 11.6 lbs to go for my goal weight!!!

I'm so excited to report more on this!!

The story of Gabriel- Happy Birthday!

I'm still in shock that 2yrs ago today I gave birth to the chubby little person, who at the moment, is standing on a toy looking out the window in just his diaper. He refuses to put pants on, not even comfy ones and I have to chase him just to change his diaper. Where did this strong willed child come from? It's not like this is new though, he was just a stubborn 2yrs ago!!!

I figured in tribute to my little monster, I would right out his birth story for all to see. So here it goes.

Jared got back from his first deployment in November of 08. Rylan was 14 months old and we were living at Ft. Campbell KY. Around Christmas, while on leave here in WA we decided we wanted to try for another baby. It didn't happen right off so we figured with the move coming up it would be best to wait until we got settled back at Ft. Lewis. We moved in April of 09 and I waspregnant very soon after and announced to everyone I was pregnant on Mothers Day!

My pregnancy was fairly uneventful, morning sickness that lasted all day and doctors check ups. We were hoping for a girl, one of each. Jared was able to be there when we found out we were having another boy. I can't quite remember what we did with Ry.

My due date was December 31 2009, we were hoping for a new year baby though!

Then the hard Part happened. In November just after thanksgiving, jared had to deploy again. His dwell time was up and the rest of his unit had left already. There was good and bad. The good is that he would only be one for about 9m, the bad is that there was no possible way for him to be there for Gabes birth, no leave at all.

By this time Meghan had moved up with us knowing I would need help with Ry and Ayer Gabe was born. Pregnancy wise everything was going good, I was over weight when I got pregnant and was gaining "to much" according to my doctor. That much weight was just to much for my small body, breathing was very difficult.

Jared was already in Afghanistan when we finally decided on a name for him, it was the same with rylan though, it took forever! After much talk we decided on Gabriel Allen Bailie!

December 31st came and went with no sign of Gabe. I did have one appointment where my blood pressure was high but it went away, I knew it was the fact that my 190lb self had to walk from the very far end of the parking lot UP to the hospital and threw. Huffing and puffing the whole way, people looking at me afraid Gabe was going to fal right out!

So we decided on n induction date, January 10th 1010!

My mom and Myles came up the day before, and my mom had a good laugh at me trying to bend over to clean up a spill. Gabe was so low I had to Sumo squat!

The day came and at 7am we made out way to Madigan Army medical center. I got all settled in my bed awaiting my IV. With both boys I tested positive for group B strep and had to have the antibiotics, which they felt the need to put in my left wrist, most uncomfortable IV ever!

The first nurse couldn't get it and was actually hurting me so she just got up and walked away and my new nurse did it!

Then I was given the pitocin and my water was broken.

Contractions with rylan were manageable. Painful but managed by walking and breathing, I labored at home and only went in when my contractions had been going for more than hour. And I only went because I didn't want to have him at home.

Pitocin induced contractions were HORRIBLE!!! Front and back and I couldn't walk! I asked for an epi at 4cm and had it by 5cm. With Rylan I got mine when I went in at 8cm and the pain was still manageable!

Time escaped me so I don't know what time it was but at one point I sat up to tel my mom that I was going to throw up. I had done this with Rylan, while I was pushing actually. It's the contractions.

Well I only got half way threw my sentence when I asses out. Next thing I know the air mask is being put on my face and I'm turned on my side. Again this happened with rylan except I didn't actually pass out. Apparently both of our heart rates had dropped. All was good after a bit though.

Unfortunately my mom had to fly back that day to get back to work. I completely understood and was not hurt by it, she HAS to work. My doctor decided I was close enough to try a few trial pushes. 1 push was all I got before a team of other doctors and nurses come running in because Gabes heart rate had dropped dangerously low. This time it wasn't conning up as quickly. Eventually it did but had it not, I would have had a c section.

Just after that was when my mom had to leave. It was a very sad moment, she wasn't there for Rylan either since we were in KY.

So that left me completely alone since Meghan took my mom to the airport 45 min away.

My doctor decided to do bother trial push, without breaking down the bed or putting on her delivery armor.

I had told her before that it only took about 5 pushes with Rylan, but I don't think she beloved me.

So while one nurse held one leg and I held my other, I pushed.

I was instantly told to STOP, Don't even LAUGH or he will fall out! I see all the nurses running around trying to set stuff up and my doctor putting on her stuff.

There was no time to break the bed down, 3 more pushes, one for his head, one for his shoulders and 1 to help the rest along!

That was it! He was set right on my chest and I helped clean him off. His checks were so huge and he was so big!

At 5:55pm I welcomed my 9lb 12oz oinker into the world! Everyone was in shock at how big he was. Everything was perfect health wise and I convinced my doctor to let me go 24hrs PP with the promise of a check up the next day.

Meghan and rylan returned to the hospital about 20min after I had him and my mom was actually still at the Seattle airport waiting to board her plane!

I was able to talk to jared threw out the day, his superiors knew I was having him and would let jared call periodically. We actually talked just before and just after Gabe was born!

The last 2yrs have been crazy. He is such a funny child. Much more stubborn, strong willed and independent than Rylan. He borders on difficult sometimes but then he does a dance for you and your heart melts!

So here is a big happy Birthday to my little GAbiegoober!

The New Year

I figured I shouldn't just ignore the fact that it's a whole new year!

The fact is I'm a little scatter brained as to what to write. I had such big visions for moving back here and starting the new year, but it's been much harder than I thought. I'm lazy and I'm a procrastinator.

I still have not heard back from the dialysis clinc about the job which has me pretty discouraged. I applied at a hospital about half hour from here, for an entry level office job(patient admitting stuff) and have not heard back either. My next step is to go to the temp agency and see how they can help me. I think my lack of work experience in general is hurting me, the fact that the one place I did work is now out of business probably does not help either.

I also wanted to do lots of volunteer work, and still hope to. I'm finding though that unless I'm "working" finding a sitter is not as easy( I.e family).

2012 is not starting out how I had hoped and it's only 2 days in!!

I have so much to get done and I just find it so hard to get out of the house, on a few different levels. One, because Gabe is very hard for me to handle. If I'm out to do any sort of shopping I CAN NOT take him with. He's screaming bloody murder with in 5 min. While trying to fix Gabe, rylan takes that opportunity to start asking me for everything under the sun and the falls in to histerics when I tell him no. Then I feel the eyes. All the eyes on me trying to deal whit my children. It doesn't help that I look like a 17yr old single mom, I can tell what they think from the way they stare. Just remember when you see a mom trying to handle a child like that in the store, a smile of kindness and nod of understanding, can mean the world.

Two, because it's just hard being here without Jared. It feels like we are just here visiting and he is just out visiting some other friends and will be back later tonight.

I feel like I'm moving without him to a place that we should both be together at. It's just hard.

I am also very nervouse about this coming year. The change from military to civilian life scares the crap out of me. All we have know is military life, we were only together about 5 months before he left for basic. Neither of its know the reall struggles of life as adults out side of the military.

On the flipside of that major worry, is the happiness that Jared won't ever have to deploy again. We can plan a family vacation without wondering he will be "allowed" to go. It will be a big weight off Jared's chest after 6 years.

I'm excited because Gabe is turning 2 in 8 days! My huge squishy baby is getting bigger :( !

I'm excited because Rylan will be going to pre school soon and I know he will LOVE it! And then in late summer he will get to start kindergarten which Jared will be home for!!!

Is it weird that Jared and I are both super excited to help him pick out his first backpack and lunch box???

I think my biggest excitement/dread is buying a house.

I am so scared we will eventually end up like thousands of other, and not being able to pay our mortgage. We both have the sense to not buy a house out of our means, or even what we may be approved for. We would like to see our house paid of before we die!! We see our future house as something to pass on to our kids. I'm a natural worry wort and pessimist. The sinaro in my head is our income decreasing and not being able pay or support ourselves.

Sometimes you have to just take a chance and jump in!

I how I can make 2012 as memorable as possible when and wear I can!