Its the little things!

Lets just say things have been a little crazy in my life these last few months. 

I have not been in our home for longer than 2wks at a time since we first officially moved up here. Going back and forth between here and the valley is starting to take a tole on me which is why this next visit will be it for a while.

While I dont mind moving every so often, I do like to "settle", get in a groove, make a house feel home. I just don't feel like Ive gotten to do that yet.

On top of that, I have yet to find a job. Ive applied at 3 different clinics but have heard nothing yet. Ive applied EVERY where, most of which I get an email back saying Im not "compatible". Seriously? What about me is not compatible? Anywho, after having worked I now feel restless because Im not doing anything.

Our only saving grace right now is that Jared will continue to get paid until November when his contract is up. He has been putting in applications also. He did just get word from a friend that they are hiring security guards at a casino about half hour away and he should hopefully be starting college soon. If only he could settle on what he wants to do.

I've also been looking into school online but have NO idea what I want to do either. I don't see the point in wasting time and money when I don't know what I want.

All these things lead me to think to much, think to much about things like this make me grumpy. At EVERYONE. I yelled at Jared the other day. I apologized of course, I didnt mean to yell and be so angry sounding.

I get short tempered with the kids. I about had a mental break down when I came out of the bathroom to see Gabe drawing in pen all over the tv.

Really I know that its just because we are all "couped up". The boys are used to going to daycare and running and getting energy out. Im used to going to work and talking about things other than power rangers and poopie butts.

Jared woke up relatively early today. The boys had been in kind of a bad mood because I took netflix away. Neither of them will stay away from the xbox and keep turning it off or opening the disc drive, so I was just done. They could either play outside or play in their room. 

I went and took a shower and cleared my mind, got dressed and brushed my hair. I felt a bit better. Gabe was down for a nap so I laid on the couch with Jared and we both ended up falling asleep. It was so nice and comfy. When we are in bed I can NOT fall asleep cuddled up. Im claustrophobic and it creeps me out to lay face to face and breath the same air, or breath air he has exhaled. Im weird I know, but after 7yrs of having him on again off again in my bed, Im just to used to sleeping by myself.  

We have found though that the couch is the one place we fall asleep together, so when I get those moments I  take great advantage.

After waking up, Jared was getting ready to go to BJJ so I took my chance and told him I was going to go get a coffee. I needed out of the house before I had to tackle dinner by myself. That 10min of silence was golden. All I did was drive to Starbucks and get a pumpkin latte and I was rejuvenated. 

The boys and Jared were outside when I got there so once Jared left we just stayed and played.

Came in for dinner and then I got a cool idea. I had extra glow sticks from the Dollar Store so once it got dark I cracked those babys up and we played Light Sabers until bed time.

After a while these "little things" become big things when they mean the difference between being a total bitch and a calm person.