Do you ever get that.....empty feeling? Like you don't know what to think or do. Life is kind of just going by, day after day. Its like that awkward moment when you don't have pockets and you don't know what to do with your hands.
Its like that but, with my entire being. What am I doing, what should I be doing?
I am not working, I am not going to school. The boys and I have not been doing much because I've felt like total crap these last few weeks.
I am attempting to get everything ready for Rylans birthday but all I can focus on is all the "hard" stuff. Like driving for 6hrs, not sleeping in my own bed, dealing with people I don't like, driving BACK 6hrs, getting settled in our home again. Its sad that these things are overwhelming me when there is good stuff to look forward to. Like Rylans first big birthday with family since his 1st birthday. Meghan and Jared are taking me to the Used concert for my birthday. Those things just seem to be a side thought to the rest.
I have so much to do but I can't bring myself to actually do any of it.
I need something to get me out of this. What that is, I have no idea.
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