Just some thoughts

Ugh. I had to get this out before I go to bed. I really miss Jared. Every morning I wake up and Im alone in this big bed. I get up and the boys and I start our day. I go into our living room and Im alone. No good morning greeting, no what can I make you for breakfast(I cant wait to ask him that). My day goes on. No, oh can you help me with this. Then my day comes to a close, I start turning off the lights and t.v., I stand there at the last light and look around. No are you ready for bed, no hand on my back. No getting situated next to each other in bed. No, "will you scratch my back". NO random night time conversation. I go to bed praying to fall asleep quickly so I can get the next day over with.
Its at night when it hurts the most. Its lonely. Its hard to describe, numb maybe is the right term. Stuck. Even knowing he is coming home soon it still hurts remembering that I am alone. I really just want this part of our life to be done with. I don't like the way it makes either of us feel, I don't like hurting like this.